Illegal Immigrante Flagrante Delicto

Jeezus man! I dimly recall reading summat about 2 pound in weight gained for every month in public office (or something similar) tbh it sounded as likely as ol' Gordie coming first in a truth telling contest two towns over to me, but somebody really ought to have told Baroness Scotland you aren't required to take it all on the chin, still when you're living off the fat of the land.. might as well flaunt it.

I remember when she first came to prominence in Parliament. Apart from shuddering as I imagined the near orgasmic paroxysms of politically correct delight that must have engulfed the erstwhile engineers of our brave new pigeon hole society as they installed a shiny new BEM female government minister in those institutionally racialist Houses of Parliament, I thought she was kinda cute for a running dog of the race untrusty. But now-WOW- the diminution of her aesthetic appeal leads one to wonder whether she has:

(a) been kidnapped

(b) absconded with half the treasury

(c) cast off the capitalist/fascist/plastic fantastic trappings of state and society and gone to live, love and light up a big fat one in some compost commune deep in the wilds of Nottinghamshire,

a/b/c-- and Harridan Harman in blind panic at losing a twofer out of the sisterhood replaced her with a not very like look-a-like.

(d) -and this one may actually hold some water- they say dogs start to resemble their owners, well the inhabitants of both houses are by and large a rough looking bunch and maybe her office was too close to a portrait of old Winston and she's coming out in jowl sympathy.

(e) I think I'd better lay off her looks now coz I'm no oil painting myself.

So, on to the meat, two veg, yorkshire pudding, bottle of chilled chablis and absolutely divine pudding of the matter at hand. She wrote the rules, didn't abide by them and now her fudgers-in-law are trying to brush her oversight under the carpet when the law says pay up.. and would you credit it? They want to set up another freaking database to stop it happening again!

Rules is rules you incompetent, conniving contemptibles. Pay yer fine dear, fall on yer sword and stop pretending we're *completely* stupid and room 101 really exists.

I thank you...